TITANIC MADE BY SHUBHAS GHAI

       Ever wondered what would be in " Titanic " if the same was made by Subhash Ghai.

       The name of the movie? " Naav Doobta hai. Pyaar Doobta Nahin". Well here it goes!

            1]      The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally find in movies that

                    have a court scene full of people or a Janta basti full of janta.

            2]      Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as JJJJJ JJJ Jack. Madhuri's

                    name would be Phool and Shahrukh's name would be Chakh. (Alphabet "a"

                    deliberately left out)
            

            3]      The Titanic would be sailing from Madh Island to the Gateway of India.

            4]      Madhuri would be dancing in the rain with Shahrukh in tow.

            5]      Rose's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "bad man" everytime

                    he sees Shahrukh.

            6]      Shahrukh would eventually find his long lost mom AaBaap Singh on the ship.

                    Shahrukh also gets his sister nanhi gudiya.

             7]     The movie would only last for 7 hours.

             8]     The music director would be of course AR Rehman who would compose a

                    disco on the boat.

             9]     The boat sinks, not because of the iceberg but because of excessive

                    on-board population.

           10]    The climax would surely have at least 10 bomb blasts in spite of the ship

                    sinking. These would be thrown by Amrish Puri ( Durjan Singh) at Shahrukh.

           11]    The infamous lovemaking in the back seat of the car; the car would be a

                    Maruti 800 ( very less space !!! got it?)

           12]    There would be only 12 songs in the movie.

           13]     Remember Rose changing her mind about jumping into the water? In our case,

                    Madhuri changes her mind, since. .. since.. the Titanic is moving along Mahim

                    creek and the water stinks. Eeeeks!!

           14]    How can I forget the painting scene? Shahrukh would be painting Madhuri's

                    portrait with Madhuri fully covered minus the locket. ( Censors yaar ). Of course

                    the portrait would be drawn by MF Hussain.

           15]    Most important!! The number of times the word "Bachaoooo" would be yelled

                    would be a record in the history of cinema.

           16]     Amitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's captain and

                    would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party. Of course, he would not die.

           17]     Amrish Puri would die while trying to swim towards Worli sea face because of

                    the water stench.

           18]     Madhuri and Shahrukh should be singing a song in the Swiss Alps. So what

                    if the full movie should be in the ship.

           19]    The focus shifts to Mandakini only when she falls into the sea and is fully

                    drenched. Till then she is never shown.

           20]    Only during the climax would Aasoo Devi tell Chakh about how Durjan troubled

                    them. Chakh would then yell " Kutte mein tera khoon pee jaaoonga". The

                    ensuing fight would only last for an hour.

           21]    There would be an antakshari for the "drowners" conducted by Annu Kapoor

                    instead of the  trio Playing the violin.

           

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